Monday, June 18, 2012

Father's Day for the childless

Father's Day, a time to celebrate the awesomeness that is our fathers! Especially our heavenly Father above! However I was in Dollar Tree this morning with my Mom, and we were selecting a card for the Dad's in our lives. As I stood there reading a card for my grandfather, I thought of my dear husband who is again without a son or daughter to rejoice in the fact of being a father. I thought of what an amazing Dad he'll be someday, and it was a very bittersweet moment. I hurt for my husband, even though he hasn't said once today how he isn't a Dad as of yet...I felt sorrow just like I had around Mother's day. I am scared of having a child depend on me and raise it in the way that is should go...however that doesn't lessen my feelings. Every month the God tells us "Not right now, it isn't time yet" I have such a hard time keeping my head up and not second guessing the "whys" of His choice. I know it will happen, trust me I KNOW this...I also hear it all the time. I also hear: "Enjoy your husband! You will never get this time again." I think if I hear this sentence once more I will explode! I say that because I AM, I AM enjoying my husband! This is so frustrating to hear. It just is hard  for both of us around that certain time of the month when it is obvious not going to be that month...again. I am so proud of my husband, I want him to have a baby so much. Sweetie, here is a card to you that I would have bought today if they sold it:

Sweetheart, today there are so many reasons to list how amazing you are. How much you do for others, and for me. I wish this card could say more as to how special you are to me and all those around you. I wish today was the day we had a baby, or had found out we were expecting. Since this is not that day, I want you to know how thankful I am to have you, and how much you bless me everyday. How sweet you're and kind. You're going to be a fantastic father someday, so a very Happy Father's Day my love.

Love- your sweet baby girl

I know there are so very many couples like us, unable to have children or just not gotten pregnant. I used to feel unhappy that they were out there. Now knowing some of where they're coming from my heart completely goes out to them, to you if you are reading this! (((hugs)))

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